I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
