I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Your cock deserves a montage
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
