is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
