Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize