the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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