so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
