I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
should my penis look like a turkey
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
