forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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