i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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