areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
