Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
