but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
