it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
