I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
