I wannas sexs uuuuu
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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