Your face is a jimmy john
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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