Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
