i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
