I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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