i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
