fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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