Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
