We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
