So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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