..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
