Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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