Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
