I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
