I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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