would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
