I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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