one two three fourrrrnication!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
