My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
