totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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