Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
