too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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