i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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