I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
