How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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