i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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