i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
