she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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