i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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