I have demons in me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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