so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
