Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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