Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
