youre lurking in front of me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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