So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
