so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
