you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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