my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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