I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
if only i could text you this smell
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
