We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
