No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
from now on my penis is your penis
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This is classic penis vs brain.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
