i don't plan on having that self control this summer
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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