No awkward lesbian experiences without me
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Someone signed my nipple.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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