We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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