I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
