see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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