you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I wear drunk well.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
