Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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