I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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